Wednesday, 24 October 2012

J is for . . . Jinx

Of course after posting yesterday about my favorite time of the day being 10pm, tonight Ethan decides that it would be fun to cry from 10- 10:45. I dont even think he was sure why he was crying, but one second he jusy stopped, smiled at me and fell straight to sleep.

Its times like this I feel so overwhelmed. I know this is what comes with being a mum, endless crying and not knowing how to help your baby. But that doesnt make it any easier. I hate feeling helpless and I hate that I get so frustrated. I let that little voice creep into my head that says I'm not good enough, that im being a terrible mum. This voice tends to lead to me getting even more frustrated for thinking this way.

I know deep inside, even in moments like this that I'm a good mum. That im doing everything in my power to help him and make him feel comfortable. But its the crying and the way he looks me in the eyes, that makes me think I should be doing more to help him. I know i'm doing all I can, I just wish there was more I could do.

Well he is asleep now, and I think its also time for me to hit the hay. Fingers crossed he stays asleep for a while. I could use the zzzzzzzzz.


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