L is for. . . love and loss

This is probably the most personal post I have written so far. But I feel like sharing all the bits and pieces that make me, me.

My sons name is Ethan Lance. I have seen eyes brows raise at his middle name, as its not all common and modern these days. So here is the story behind the name.

My pop, my dads dad was such a large part of my life, he was lovely and supportive and just wonderful. I have so many amazing memories of him when I was younger, him being at my athletic meets, him sitting and watching his grand kids play with a smile on his face and of course him telling me off for wearing makeup and having a boyfriend.

I also remember the day my mum and dad came into my room and told me he had cancer, I was young, maybe 9 or 10, but I was old enough to know that it wasn't good. He didn't give up though, he battled through surgery and medications, all the while putting a smile on his face when we were around.

Just before he died, our family got together and we made a plate, which we all put our finger prints on, in the shape of a butterfly, and after he died we burned a candle with butterfly stickers on it. A sign that he was flying free and happy.

He is always there when I'm sad or uncertain. A little butterfly. I know some of you may read this and think I'm crazy...I'm not. I know he is always there.

Why am I sharing this story?

I wish, every single day that Ethan could have met him, just once, just for a minute. That I could hug him one last time. And yesterday, my mother in law said something, that changed my life and she didn't even know it.

She said that when she watches Ethan during the week, he will sit at the window and for some reason, many butterflies will just appear.
It was honestly like receiving that last hug I had dreamed of, it made me realise that he is still here, for me and for Ethan. And that he is proud of me.

He really was a special person and I hope he is enjoying his life as a butterfly <3

C is for . . . Cous Cous Burgers

Seriously, these are delicious!!

I decided to have a bit of an experiment last night, I tend to do that every now and then, mix around some ingredients and see how they work out. Last night was a very rare success that I have to share!

Cous Cous Burgers.

Serves- about 10 burgers
Time- 10minutes prep, 10minutes cooking

Ingredients
-500gr extra lean beef mince
-1 cup of cous cous
-1and1/3 cup of beef stock
-1 leek
-1 capsicum
-Bread crumbs
-Cooking oil

Instructions

1. Place the cous cous and the stock in a bowl and set aside for 10 minutes

2. Cut up leek and capsicum into small pieces

3. Get the cous cous and mix it in with the mince meet. Combine well.

4. Add the vegetables and combine well.

5. Place breadcrumbs in a bowl and grab a handful of mince, squish it into a dish and coat with breadcrumbs.

6. Place in a hot fry pan with cooking oil, cook for 2-3 minutes on each side.

7. Enjoy!

Linking up with "Essentially Jess" For IBOT!

T is for . . . Triathlon Ready!

So I used to be super fit, like crazy fit. I used to do athletics, I would compete is regional, state and even  national competitions. I would train 5-6 days a week and I loved it. Unfortunately when it came to VCE I was faced with the decision to work or continue to compete and being a 17 year old, I chose work over sport.
And that was pretty much the last time I was fit. Now i'm super unfit. Im a thin person, so people generally assume im a fit person, that is so very far from the truth!
To the point, that when I attempted to swim a few weeks ago, I made 75m before having to doggy paddle the rest of the way, pathetic I know. I felt horrible and decided it was time to do something about it.

So I am.

I have competed in a few triathlons, when I was younger. I loved them, my dad also used to compete. Its such a great sport to be involved in and I have decided to go back, and give it another go. If for nothing else, then at least I'll have my fitness back.

The Goal. . . Be Tri ready, by the start of the season, September 2013!

That gives me, 7 months to be ready. It seems like a fair amount, BUT I have to get 3 different disciplines ready to go in that time, 3!

So ill be developing my own training plan, a healthy eating plan and getting my butt into groove. Ill be posting my training and eating plans at the start of each week, so feel free to join in! Let me tell you, this will be hard work, but I am so excited. Excited to get my fitness and my confidence back, as well as getting my competitive nature back.

So feel free to follow my journey.

Tri ready in 7 months! Bring it on :)

Linking up with "With Some Grace"  for FYBF

S is for. . . School

Im back to school, its was the strangest thing being back in a classroom after a few years. Even stranger to be enjoying it! That never happens.
I am doing my Bachelor in Midwifery. And so far (all be it, i've only been there 4 days) I am loving it. Its hard work, but thats why i'm enjoying it. Its pushing me to get my brain working and learning again, its such a great feeling. I never though in a million years I would ever say that!

Its a LOT of hours though, Im there every single day. Which I was not expecting when I first applied. I had an 8 hour day today which killed me I am exhausted and so is Ethan. Its hard work but I know in te end it will be worth it. And I do get to come home and nap with my little man.

I am also very lucky and have the ability to leave Ethan with wonderful people in my life. My nan is watching him on a Monday and Thursday. Toms mum is watching him on a Tuesday and he is going to daycare on Wednesday.
And then Friday my amazing friend Jess will watch him for a little until Thomas gets home from work.

Its a huge commitment! One that I have struggled with, seeing my little mans face as I leave him every day is breaking my heart. I miss seeing him giggle and smile all day, I miss him pulling my hair and playing with my fingers. But at the same time, I know he is well looked after and that makes everything ok.

So I have traded in my slippers and pjs, for jeans and a tshirt.

I have traded in my cup of tea and toast for a coffee on the go

I have traded in my hours of breast feeding, to pumping in the car on my way too and from uni

I have traded in my poppy nappies and vomit, for lectures and tutorials

Even if it is just for a few hours a day, I miss everything and am always so eager to get home!



But I am so happy and its making the time I am home with Ethan even more amazing. Im appreciating every second like I never have before and its just wonderful to come home every day to his smiling face and knowing that he has had a great day, and i'm following my dreams.

If nothing else, thats what i'm getting out of this. That I hope one day Ethan can look back on this and see how hard I worked to achieve my dreams and goals and how anything is possible as long as you set your mind to it!

So today for Thankful Thursday I am thankful for so many things, for my wonderful family who have stuck by me and made all of this possible, for watching Ethan and being as amazing and supportive as they have been. I am thankful for the ability to be going to Uni to study Midwifery and the ability to achieve my dream! 

I'm also very thankful to the wonderful student who stopped today to give me her parking ticket so I didnt have to buy one, Thank you kind stranger, I will pass on the favour!

Its times like this I realise how truly lucky I am and how blessed I am to live this life. 

Of course I'm linking up with Leigh at "Six by the Bay" for Thankful Thursday! What makes you thankful? Head on over and link up, it will change your day, promise! 

W is for. . . Walk in her shoes

Ill be honest, every other week Thursday is my most favourite day, I love looking at the positive side of my life, picking out all the wonderful points and sharing them with you. I will admit though, today I struggled. I have ended up in a bit of a slump the last few days and struggled to find something positive to share.

I have been thinking all day, Its now 5pm and I have finally realised there is no point in feeling sorry for myself. No point in focusing on the negative things have have happened over the last few days.

How many people would love to live my life?

Would love to have 3 meals a day and a roof over their head.

Would love to have the amazing support I have from my partner and from our families.

Would love to have a healthy and safe lifestyle.

And they don't.

So who am I to complain and the things in my life, that would be so small in comparison to some peoples problems.

So instead, today I am thankful!

I am thankful to have 3 meals a day and a roof over our head

I am thankful to have amazing support from both my partner and our families

and Im thankful for the healthy and safe lifestyle we have


To prove how thankful I am, I am going to join "Walk in her shoes"  Where I will commit to walking 10,000 steps a day from March 18-24.

Because I don't have to walk for Km's each and every day, just to food and water, just a few steps to the fridge.

My aim is to raise $500! But I would love to raise more. Ill be promoting through my blog and social media, the more money raised, the more girls we can help, spend more time in school than having to walk every day!

You can donate to here

Or you can register for yourself here, It costs just $15 and they will send you out a pedometer so you can keep track of those steps!

I know there are other bloggers walking as well

BabyMac

Essentially Jess

Any other bloggers who are doing this, please let me know and i'll list your names! I think its such a wonderful cause.

No matter how bad life can get, how dark and gloomy, there is always something to be thankful for.
This Thankful Thursday may have been a little harder than other, but after a little soul searching, its easy to see all the wonderful things I have been blessed with. And I hope I can make some people's lives, just a little bit brighter.

Of course I'm linking up with Leigh at "Six by the Bay" for Thankful Thursday! My weeks just wouldn't be the same without it!

M is for. . . Messy hair pyjama day

Just 18 short hours ago I posted this on my twitter account

The life of a mum, one day can be great, the next a shocker! Last night E hardly had any sleep, meaning, I didn't either. So after a productive day yesterday, today has officially been declared.

Messy hair pyjama day!

And thats ok, it is ok to have a day for relaxing, a day off from chores. Its ok not to be perfect and not to be a "super mum"

Its ok to have a messy house for a few days, if it means you can breathe a little and spend some time loving up your little one. So today we relax, I nap when little man naps and thats ok! 

Messy hair and pyjamas!

Lazy poptarts for breakfast (naughty)

There is washing to be folded

Dishes to be washed

A dishwasher to be emptied

But Instead...

I'll play with E

Give him kisses

Snuggle him in his sleep

And enjoy a Master chef re run!

And all because tomorrow is a new day, a day ill clean and put some real clothes on....maybe ;)

Bring on tomorrow


Linking up for Wordless Wednesdays with "My Little Drummer Boys" and "Twinkle in the Eye"

S is for. . . Shopping

Yesterday I went shopping at our local shopping centre. Its somewhere that we visit quite often, but between Thomas and I, neither of us enjoy shopping. So we usually just go for a wander to get out of the house.

Yesterday though, was different. we went into a few shops and I was so disappointed with what I saw. Maybe its been around me always, but yesterday was the first time I had noticed.

1. Most clothing stores we looked in, where far from pram friendly.

The clothes racks were pushed so closely together, I couldn't even get in the front door! The racks and tables were so full and so squished in, that Thomas could barely fit in, without a pram! It ended in me not even entering majority of my favourite stores (from before having E) because I couldn't fit.

2. The customer service was horrible in all but 1 store.

The first store we went into, in which I had to push my way through the crowded stores to begin with, Ethan was making his usual coo noses, then he started to cry a little. The lady working in the store, who hadn't even come to talk to us, even though we were the only ones in the store. Looked at me and gave me the most dirty look, then looked at Ethan and gave him the same look.

We then went in to two more stores, one store where there was 2 men standing in the middle of the store talking, but never come to give us help (this was a shoe store, so its not like you can look at sizes and so forth on your own) Although the last store, Sportco The staff were friendly and helpful, the store was easy to get into and it was clean and tidy looking!

3. Less is more?

Maybe i'm just out of the loop, maybe I don't follow fashion. But by the look of it, the fashion is, less is more. Judging by the racks of clothing, with what I actually thought was underwear, until I looked around and saw that girls were walking around in these clothing, as outerwear!
And I mean girls! 12-13 year old girls in shorts so short you can see butt cheeks and tops that really are just bras with a bit of fancy stuff on the bottom.
Maybe i'm just jealous that I couldn't pull off shorts that short?

I guess when they have people such as Miley (pictured) to look up to, who wear these kinds of clothing, its not a surprise that girls want to dress like them. But I think that young girls are in so much of a hurry to grow up, I know because I was one, not all that long ago. But wearing clothes such as these is such a bad way of going about it.

Like I said, maybe i'm just out of the loop but my shopping expedition was far from a good experience yesterday and it made me look at the world around me in a totally different light!

My tips?

-In customer service, a smile goes such a long way. Its free and easy to give and will make your customers feel much more comfortable.

-Being friendly and chatting to customers, actually makes the time pass faster! (I found after many years in customer service)

- Girls, we don't have to see your butt cheeks. Please wear shorts that are longer than the pockets!

How do you feel about modern day fashion?

Have you had any good/bad shopping experiences of late?

IMAGES THANKS TO DR.GOOGLE IMAGES

Linking up with "One Mother Hen" for open slather mondays!

And Essentially Jess for IBOT!